In Aelin's Absence
by ashryverwhitehorn
Summary: This is a Throne of Glass fanfiction. After Aelin disappears, Lysandra pretends to be her, whilst Aedion, no matter how much he doesn't like it, travels with her to Terresan to oversee the armies. However, they don't plan on liking each other again! Doesn't really have a story-line – it more just focuses on Aedion/Lysandra fluff. Will soon have lemons, don't worry!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is my first fanfic so I wanna know what you think. Give me lots of views and some constructive criticism. Also, I need ideas for the next few chapters, so could you help me with your opinions? That would really be great.**

 **DISCLAIMER:I do not own Throne of Glass!**

 **LYSANDRA'S POV**

Elide was leaning against me, all the weight from her small but muscular body pressing on my side, my heavy breast. She told everyone, especially Rowan, what exactly had happened, and I could do nothing but watch as he broke into tiny pieces, completely irreparable to anyone. Apart from, of course, a specific fire-breathing bitch-queen.

And then there was Aedion.

He was looking at me like he actually understood what was going on. He understood what part I would play in this. The fury that ravaged his face was excruciatingly painful. I knew that there was no chance of forgiveness.

" _You knew!"_ he snarled. As I knew that he would never look at me the same again, I realised I had nothing to fight for. _Except._ Except Aelin, who had stood by my in everything, my queen who I would die for.

I took a deep breath and lifted my chin. I would take it for Aelin. So I did the worst thing possible - I replied. "She asked me - that day on the boat. To help her. She told me the suspected price to banish Erawan and restore the keys. What I needed to do."

This seemed to anger Aedion even more. "What could _you_ possibly..." Even though it hurt that he thought I was useless, I refused to flinch.

Then Rowan seemed to cotton on. He whispered, almost reverently, his eyes filled with love, "Aelin would die to forge the new lock to seal the keys into the gate - to banish Erawan. But no one would know. No one but us. Not while you wore her skin for the rest of your life." The look in his eyes told me that although the resentment he was feeling towards me was strong, once it passed, he would hold no anger towards me.

Aedion still looked very confused as he dragged a hand through his matted hair. He really didn't understand. "But...any offspring with Rowan wouldn't look anything like -"

I didn't want to beg, but at this point I didn't have a choice. I put my hands together. "You could fix that." I paused. "With me." If Aedion agreed, our offspring would pass as royal. Even if I was in Aelin's skin, my children would look like me in this form as it is my main one.

Aedion stared at me, looking so...raged I wondered whether slapping him would have been better. The words that poured out of his mouth fell in torrents - they hurt like each one was a separate dagger, and each word stabbed my heart.

"And when were you going to reveal this? Before or _after_ I thought I was taking my gods-damned cousin to bed for whatever reason you concocted?" After, of course. But, not wanting to ruin things more, I whispered, "I _will not_ apologise to you. I serve her, and I am willing to spend the rest of my life pretending to be her so that her _sacrifice_ isn't in vain -"

I was cut off by Aedion's roar. "You can go to hell. You can _go to hell you lying bitch!"_

I snarled in return, forcing the anger to pour out of me, although inside, I felt like my heart was being torn into thousands of pieces. Completely irreparable. I was shattered, although it would take an extremely clever person to realise that...that I was broken.

Throughout the whole conversation with Galan Ashryver, Aedion hadn't even spared a glance at me. To be honest, I don't blame him, considering the lengths I'd go with my loyalty to my Queen-it would hold too much pain to look at me in Aelin's skin(as I am now) and remember that we don't really know where she is, or if our Queen is ever really coming back.

I have betrayed him so badly. There is no way of him returning my feelings for him. I have ruined everything! He was only just starting to show me, well, that he had a heart! I knew from the start that he wasn't Adarlan's whore, but he never seemed to be affected by me and my looks.

The fact that the world outside me had suddenly gone dead silent was my only indication that I had been wrapped up in my thoughts. I looked around me, and realised that everyone was staring on me, grief written on all of their features. The silence told me I'd been asked a question. Taking a deep breath, I put on the jaunty smile of a specific fire-breathing bitch-queen who I couldn't bear to think about at the moment. None of us could.

"I'm sorry, I missed that," I spoke in my best imitation of her. Then, to make it more Aelin-like, I added, "busy thinking about queenly things, as usual." Galan, as polite as ever, smiled sweetly and replied,"Where now?" I smiled, and for once it was real, my words were real as I sighed.

"We go north. To Terresan. Home" I glanced at Aedion, whose hands were clenched into fists, and his Ashryver eyes were glaring at me, burning with hatred. I didn't let my mask falter, and stopped any shred of doubt from showing on my face.

I spared Rowan a glance, and with a few veiled words, gave him permission to go after the real Aelin. Slowly, Aedion and Rowan drifted away, no doubt discussing their plans. Since I had known them for so long, I already knew that Aedion would come with me, whether he wanted to or not, to oversee the armies. And make my life a living hell in the process. But Rowan, he would find Aelin, the bond between all of us, the woman who thought her life wasn't as important as ours, the queen who we all served and loved.

 _I'm so sorry Rowan. It's for the best that no one knows. You will find her - I'm sure of it._ I paused. Then, _bring her home. I have faith in you._ He knew that hadn't even heard me, but I felt much more peaceful then I did a few moments ago.Taking a deep breath, I walked towards Ansel and Enda, Galan following behind me and Ilias coming closer to listen from where he had drifted apart. We converse for ages, talking about what to do next and also how our lives have been since we last _saw_ each other ages ago. Before long Aedion stalks past me, brushing me off when I try to talk to him. I sigh, and give the order to ready the long boats.

Aedion pushes our boat out into the deep turquoise sea, and we sail out into the sunset, leaving that island coated with pain and grief far behind us as we head home. Far away, a white shirt coated in blood skittered across the surf, the wind blowing it beyond the horizon, and I couldn't help my smile, the word home and the fact that I would finally have one ringing in my ears over and over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, sorry this is taking a while, I'm enjoying my hols and have _way_ too much homework. I have been thinking a lot about this chapter, but never really got round to writing it until now.** **Thanks for all the amazing reviews, I really appreciate them.**

 **By the way, it** **'s gonna have quite a slow start, so I'm sorry for the boringness. Just building up the relationship drama. Hope you enjoy!!!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THRONE OF GLASS.**

 **AEDION'S POV**

I was pissed. _Really_ pissed. My life had turned upside down in the space of a few minutes, and there was only one thing I knew for sure. I could never trust Lysandra again. What I felt for her — what I _had_ felt for her, had disappeared so quickly that only my shredded heart knew it had been there.

As I glance around the longboat, assessing all the dangers, I catch the bitch staring at me. There was such grief and longing in her eyes that I realised she had lost not only her Queen, but also her best friend—the assassin who saved her from the hellhole in which she had spent her life—the girl who had seen her for what she was and had not turned her back on her. No, she had set her free—she had set us all free.

Without realising, tears slipped passed my guard and fell silently down my dirt streaked cheeks. I hadn't realised that it was possible to miss someone this much, to feel like your heart was being ripped out and twisted until you felt like you would never be capable of loving again. I was so used to keeping my emotions locked up that it was a blessed release to let it out. I let go of all pretense of reason as I fell to the floor on my knees and cried the shredded remains of my heart out.

Although I was wrapped up in this endless chasm of grief and pain, I was still alert enough to sense a figure pad silently into my vision. I managed to wrestle control of my raging feelings and raised my tear-streaked face to meet the worried, loving, jade-green eyes of a snowy ghost-leopard.

I waited for the non-stopping anger and betrayal, but instead I felt grateful that no matter what I had said (every single one of them I suddenly regretted), Lysandra didn't judge me, and she understood how much it hurt to lose my cousin, the wild girl filled with a raging fire who I had spent my whole life protecting, loving, and then finding after so many years.

Deep down, I knew that I could never hate Lysandra – or Aelin for that matter – for what they planned. The shifter would do anything for her Queen, just as I would. That was how I found my calloused hands reaching cautiously toward the only girl who had seen who I truly was and hadn't balked. As my fingers reached towards her, I looked directly into Lysandra's eyes and found them filled with understanding.

I knew in that moment that she realised how shattered my heart was, and that I forgave her but also needed a bit of time and space before our relationship could be normal again. Well, _almost_ normal. After all we had been through, it was bound to be a little different. She understood all that and more, and in that moment I realised that I was _way_ too lucky to have as good a friend as her.

As my fingers gently stroked through her deep fur, she purred, and seemed to decide that I wouldn't explode for she moved forward and nuzzled into my side. I surprised myself at the desire and warmth that flooded through me, but, not wanting to do anything wrong, I just curled into her warmth and let the tears flow, just like a child would. Even though I was choking on tears, I managed to get out what I wanted – just about. "I forgive you." I felt her soft form relax by my side, and I changed my mind. "Actually", I began, and she went ramrod straight, ready to run away. "Scrap that. I was never mad at you in the first place. I was just too deep in grief and I needed someone to blame it on. You just happened to play a part in _her_ disappearance, so I threw everything we had in your face because I couldn't believe what had happened. The question is: do _you_ forgive _me_?"

I finally overcame my cowardice and looked straight up at her, only to find the ghost-leopard replaced with a beautiful woman of coal black hair and slightly uptilted eyes of emerald–not to mention the most delicious, full breasts that caught my eyes instantly. Even though she noticed my eyes glazing over, she still spoke steadily.

"I can't say I forgive you since you haven't done anything wrong. But you should know that no-matter what you do wrong, I will always forgive you and accept it as part of your personality." Her full lips pulled into a small smile, but I could only thing.

"If I ask you something, do you promise to say yes?" The words were out before I could stop them. Instantly, the shields in her eyes snapped down and she replied cautiously.

"That all depends on what it is!" Her voice held humour that didn't quite meet her eyes. I didn't blame her, considering surprises were Aelin's favourite form of scaring the shit out of people. I took a deep breath, knowing that this was likely to increase the tension between us.

"Could I...I mean...Please could I kiss you? Just once. It's OK if you don't want it to mean anything...It's OK if you don't return my feelings. I just want one kiss. Have wanted it since I first set my eyes on you. Please." Once I had started, the words started pouring out, and from the look in Lysandra's eyes, I had pushed my luck too far. An awkward silence followed, and I had just started praying to every god I knew when she finally answered.

"A second ago you would barely look at me. I'm not sure how long this attitude is gonna last, so I might as well make the most of it." I could barely believe it.

"Is that a yes?!"

Lysandra sighed, exasperated. Then, slowly, she leant forward until her body was flush with mine and her lips were almost touching mine. Her scent was calling me, mint with a delicate balance of chocolate as she spoke.

"Hurry up and kiss me already!" She didn't know just how much I wanted to push her up against a wall and kiss her senseless. But I paused, giving her time to sort out her feelings, especially as I detected fear rolling off her in waves. I suddenly realised that this was probably her first kiss outside of doing her job as a courtesan. I'd better make it special.

She glared at me, waiting, and I smirked before leaning in and brushing my lips against hers. It was like the answer to a question I didn't even know I had asked. Her lips were soft and tasted of honey. I heard a word ring in my head.

 _Mate_.

I pulled back quickly, knowing it to be true. Lysandra had her eyes closed and there was a faint blush across her milky skin. She didn't seem to realise what I just had. There was an irresistible pull towards her, and I couldn't stop my raging feelings.

I lunged at her, my mouth coming down on hers; hard. My hands locked around her slim waist and hers tangled in my honey-blonde hair. But then that word ring in my head again, and I knew what I had to do. She should live her life to the fullest, and not chain it to me.

I did the worst thing possible. I pulled away and stepped back.

"Aedion? Are you alright?" She looked so distraught. Then she broke my heart. "Did I do something wrong?"I had to stop her feelings for me.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I did. I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place. Her eyes widened, despair flooding them, but I forced myself to turn my back on her, and walk away into the velvety night, back to my cabin below.

Walking away is what I did best – after fucking my way out of things, of course.

 **I know I said it was gonna be a 'slow start', but I started writing and couldn't stop. It will still take a while before they become a thing.**

 **I'm sorry it took a while, I'll try to update once every two weeks.**


	3. Chapter 3

**LYSANDRA'S POV**

I don't know what the _hell_ just happened. But when Aedion kissed me, I had felt a surge of rightness, and I had _needed_ _more!_ He must of felt it too. He had to have. Yet I think he just walked out of my life. He had kissed me back with such passion, but pulled away with wide eyes and just decided that we couldn't be together. I thought he had felt the same as me! I forced myself to take deep breaths, hide the ever growing despair threatening to swallow me whole.

Slowly, I strolled towards a rowman and chatted him up (just in case Aedion was looking). He told me that it would be a day till we reached Terresan. Perfect. I would have enough time to sleep. So sleep I did.

~•One day later•~

I woke to find that same rowman from last night tangled in the sheets of my single bed in the cabin down below. He woke me up by tracing tanzalizing circles around my stomach and full –and aching– breasts. His mouth kissed and licked its way up my neck and I arched into the touch, moaning. I grabbed him – he felt like steel wrapped in velvet– causing him to grunt. We would have gone further, again, apparently, if Aedion hadn't come busting in.

"Lysandra, we are here! Home. Terresan!" It was then that he noticed the man in my bed and the fact that we were both stark naked, the thin sheets barely covering our private parts. It was extremely amusing but heart-breaking at the same time.

"I'll be there in a sec," I said silky smoothly. "I just need to finish...something off." To prove my point, I scraped my nail down the rowman's chest. Aedion blushed, with embarrassment or anger, I didn't care and stumbled out of the door. It was his own rutting fault anyways.

I turned back to Asher (I now remember his name from last night) and soon I was moaning loud enough to wake the whole ship up.

I sent Asher out, and the realisation of what Aedion had said sent adrenaline pumping through me. We were home. Terresan! I shifted double quickly into Aelin's form, and donned a deep purple tunic with intricate threadings. Sprinting up the stairs, I found a large crowd gathered on the top deck. There are some advantages of being Queen though. As soon as people noticed me, a path was cleared, and I walked down the passage, smiling and waving, forcing myself not just to run to the edge of the ship to see the place of my dreams.

I forced myself not to look ahead until I reached the bow of the ship –Aedion was already there and flanked my right side, always prepared, as I stared across Terresan. The breath was knocked out of my chest as I stared across the lush forest, and way beyond that I could just make out the starts of Orynth. It was so impossibly beautiful that I fell to my knees, and tears spilled down my cheeks. Then I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, comforting me. I looked up to find Aedion standing beside me. Although his hand was relaxing, his face looked as if it was chiseled of out of stone, and was burning with hatred. Only I could see that though.

"Make a speech for your army, _majesty_." Aedion spoke with a quiet mocking, but I chose not to hear it. Carefully, I wiped my eyes and nose, then smoothed down my hair. Then I rose and pivoted so that I was facing the gathered, awed crowd with the sun and the rest of Terresan behind me. And so I spoke for Aelin.

"Many of you probably think that I am just a petty, fiery princess – not worth fighting for. But let me tell you this. I am worth fighting for. Fighting for me is fighting for the survival of the world. Fire and darkness make a good finale, don't you think? If you don't support me, you can always join Erawan, the _king of darkness_ , and have a ring put on you that allows a demon to enter your soul. I ask you, I beg you, please fight with me on the battlefield, and support me when I challenge Erawan. Please stand with me."

I got down on my knees with my palms facing upwards. I had spoken from the heart, and now I would see if they supported me truly. One by one, they put a hand over their chests, over their hearts, and it was then that I understood I wasn't the only one who loved Aelin enough to die for her. I smiled slightly. "For Terresan" I whispered. Then Aedion, also with a hand over his heart, stated clearly, baldly, "For Terresan". A chorus of murmers followed, and in that moment, I felt Aelin's presence beside me, cheering me on. A tear slipped down my cheek, but I held my head high, and stood, everyone cheering me on.

"We sail to Orynth!" Aedion yelled, arousing a round of applause. In that moment, everything was perfect. I looked at Aedion, and felt something molten gushing into my core. Lower than that, actually. He looked back at me with a similar gleam in his eye, and i wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.

A moment passed between us, like crackling lightning, and I was almost driven to my knees by the force of it. It was like i could feel all of Aedion's emotions rushing through me. The betrayal was especially prominent and i felt guilty seeing as it was caused by him seeing me fucking another guy. Then a wave of tenderness followed, love. For me! So he did feel the same. Then why did he so obviously reject me? The following ensue of questions in my head made it start throbbing, and i had just enough energy to wrench myself out of Aedion's head.

Lots of dizzying information had passed through me, but it only seemed to create more questions, and to make it worse, Aedion didn't even realise what had happened – he still had that half-wild expression in his eyes. Gathering my courage together, I turned back to the army that my beautiful, cunning Aelin had risked her life to gather.

"Let's sail!" I yelled, arousing a round of applause as the sun rose high above my head. I glanced at Aedion, and he bowed to me along with everyone else, although he maintained eye contact. Even as his skilled tounge licked his delicious lips, I could see the refusal to accept his feelings for me underneath the pride for Aelin.

 _Shit. I was in so much rutting shit. And I would burn in hell for it._


End file.
